Government? What Government?

Imagine this little scenario:

The elected leader of a country (i.e: Barack Obama, Stephen Harper, David Cameron—take your pick) steps down from office with little to no advance notice. Just decides he can’t do it anymore, and so please hear my sincere apologies and lovely good-bye to you all.

You’d probably say that it would be quite a shock, sure. On the bright side, however, the system is set up so that there will always be someone to take the president or prime minister’s place, at least temporarily, until a new government is properly formed.

To you I say: Indeed—that’s how it’s supposed to work. That’s why, most of the time, saying “I give up” and walking away from your position as the freakin’ leader of your country would be pretty damn difficult to do.

And for good reason.

Want to know what goes on in my little corner of the world? We can go without a president (or any form of a fully functional government) for months. In fact, our PM stepped down over a week ago and, so far, we don’t have anyone to take his place. This is mostly because our leaders’ talents are limited to arguing, finger-pointing and flip-flopping on anything and everything.

It’s freaking ridiculous and it only goes to show how useful the government here really is. When our heads of state disappear, it just makes people iffy and/or angry, but day-to-day life resumes as usual.

Meh. At least it gives people another thing to argue about over their daily hookah.

I Should Be Burying Myself in Biology…

…but I’m gonna be here for a second. I decided I didn’t want to leave my last post to be the remaining reflection on my feelings until the next “real” update. It was kinda depressing.

Not that the feelings aren’t still there in their own sticky ways, ’cause they haven’t left me alone. But! I am feeling better. I’m having happy and active days, while others can range from downers to simply average or mundane. Depends on the emotional forecast at hand.

Nothing more or less than what the whole world goes through on a regular basis eh?

This week will be as busy as it gets because I have two midterms and a presentation all falling on the 28th. Which doesn’t make for the best of moods, even if you’re Tom Hiddleston at heart. (Seriously that guy is in a constant state of bliss and charm. I want whatever he eats in the morning).

Anyways, this is just to say everything’s cool and I’m fine and still truckin’ along. I’m sure I’ll perk up a little more after Thursday because the bulk of the annoying stuff will be over and I’ll have a four-day weekend to boot! (Easter break, for the win!)

Hope all of you guys are doing awesomely :-)

Breaking Out

I’m stuck. It’s like a hard crusty shell has grown into my skin like an insidious parasite, and I can’t freaking move. I’m rotting from the inside out.

Every country I’ve ever lived in, I’ve learned and grown in so many ways. I always discovered more about myself, more about what I can take and what I cannot. I met people I liked, people I loved and people who needed a chair thrown in the general direction of their teeth. All of it molded who I am today and how I see myself and my world.

I’ve been back in Lebanon since October 2010. That’s two years and five months in my “home country” and I feel like nothing has changed.

I mean, I’m sure I have changed in some small ways, because that will always happen in one form or another. But if I were to sit and tell you what I learned from the experience here…I can probably count them on the fingers of one hand, and most of it is not exactly dripping with positivity.

I’m losing passion.

I’m practically indifferent.

I hate to be indifferent. I’m an emotional person, sometimes too much so. I like to feel things and be a part of things. Unfortunately, I’m feeling so stagnant that I may as well be falling apart.

I’m pulling myself out of this. I’m holding onto the fact I’ll be powering through this final semester in just a few short weeks. I’m holding onto the hope that my CELTA training course in July will give me new experiences and insights and a huge door to possibilities.

For now, I’m starting small. I’m learning to get up in the morning and smile instead of allowing myself to stay tired and moody. I take long, deep breaths of the cold morning air when I walk outside to get a cab. I no longer pile on the layers to keep its icy touch out of my bones. The cold makes me want to move, and I feel happier when I’m moving. When I’m walking, I pretend I’m about to meet friends I hadn’t seen in a long time because it takes my mind off all the things I have to do while powerfully lacking the motivation to do them. If I’m panting my way up the cursed 100+ steps to get to another building on campus, I try to enjoy the burn in my legs because I don’t have time to go to the gym and I might as well make it a substitute.

Because right now, I may not be where I want in life or even know what I want exactly. But if I can’t change my outlook to help shed this repulsive shell that promises to bind me down in apathy and annoyance…then who will?

Miles to Go Before I Sleep…

I’ve been dropping by pretty often but inspiration cruelly deserts me whenever I need it the most. I have little choice but to keep this place secured in the virtual sameness I’m feeling every day.

Ah the freaking goddamn Sameness. Funny how it sucks all inspiration from me, and yet it’s the very topic of the post I started working on a few minutes ago. Guess that’s what happens when something’s driving you increasingly mad (and in more ways than one). Hopefully, I’ll have the post up in a couple of days at most.

I suppose you could say I’m in a bit of a slump at the moment where it concerns blogging. I feel like I have a lot to say, but then I sit with my hands poised over the keyboard…and the words evaporate and I’m left with a rock of frustration rudely plunked in the pit of my stomach.

Life in general is all right, but it could sorely use some tweaking. I’m trying to insert more and more changes to liven my days up a bit because my insides, both intangible and not, are feeling a little atrophied.

More in the next post.

A Not-So-Glamorous Peek at Beirut

I don’t usually feature other people’s posts, but a friend of mine from AUB finally updated his blog after literally seven months of stagnation.

It was about damn time.

He made up for the abandonment by putting in a thoughtful piece about our little city. So because I really liked his reflection and agreed a lot with this sentiments, I’m sharin’ it.

Hope y’all enjoy!

To Write is to Forget: Beirut, I lo(athe)ve You

Rant of the Day: Freakin’. Garbage.

Time for a colossal pet peeve:

Garbage trucks. Garbage collecting. Garbage in general.

Not only do their timings suck, but even their ads are pissing me off. What that woman have to do with garbage? Piss me off more, will ya?

Not only do their timings suck, but even their ads are pissing me off.

In what people like to call “civilized nations”, garbage trucks do their rounds really early in the morning. Why? So they don’t block up the roads when everyone else has places to go.

Here? They decide 10 a.m is an utterly peachy time to stop traffic at regular intervals, people be damned.

The cab I took today was stuck behind one that stopped twice in less than five minutes to empty two Dumpsters per stop. (It was on a narrow road that lead directly to my university and two other schools. Hardly an unused path to take). My class was at 11:00 and we were inching behind this truck at 10:52.

Thank God I left the house thirty minutes early because damn was that truck taking its sweet time.

Oh, and it doesn’t help that I’m constantly met with gorgeousness in the form of a garbage volcano on the sidewalk near my house at 6:00 p.m. Walking in the street among the semi-insane drivers is a no-brainer preference over navigating through that crap.

Lovely, n'est-ce pas?Source

Nothing like a fresh burst of disgust on your way home.

To make matters worse, people regularly throw trash out their car windows because the asphalt apparently absorbs it immediately and perfumes the road with a rosy scent. Because of course it does.

Then there are the dog owners.

Or rather, the dog owners who often don’t even deign to walk their own dogs–they let their housekeeper do it instead. Because the point of owning a dog is just to have it around the house, right? Who cares about actually doing everything else that comes with having one?

So when Sir Barks-A-Lot dumps a load on the sidewalk? No problem, just leave it there to fester. The place could use some texture anyways.

ARGH!

Now you know why I’m constantly ranting about how Lebanon has no rules, no rights, no freaking anything. Because when there isn’t even a system to control the very basics in keeping the city clean, then how can we run anything else? And people wonder why I think they’re insane when they talk of Lebanon being the best country in the world. Yeah. Right.

PS: I wrote this post earlier in the day but wasn’t done with it. I guess that was fate because on my way home in a cab another truck was emptying Dumpsters. At SEVEN P.M. Blocked up the traffic on another main road. Thanks.

Just Saying Stuff:

I’m an incurable WordPress theme hopper, as is well known. I’ve been jumping around with themes for this blog but I keep coming back to the one I’m using now.

I guess the style and typography is what keeps drawing me in. Perhaps it’s a good thing to have some stability on a blog that can talk about the lack thereof, right?

I don’t have another post in mind but I’ll come up with one soon. For now I’m debating whether I should take a nap or work on an essay due Tuesday.

Decisions, decisions…

(What am I talking about, nap time is totes winning).